The Socialist Manifesto - 10 Point Agenda for our Nation's Development

An election manifesto modeled on the lines of some of the socialist parties in the countries.

1. We plan to abolish movies and all entertainment programs on television and radio. Television and radios would be used exclusively so that the Indian public can listen to the speeches of their favorite political leaders. Why should people enjoy entertainment from far away studios when one can be entertained by local people? This move will ensure development of local singers, street play artists and drama artists. That way we have twin benefits of development of local culture as well as employment to so many more people. Similarly people will watch the local sports tournaments. That again will provide employment to hundreds of local people involved in organization of these tournaments.

2. We plan to abolish use of all motorized vehicles by general public. Every car that is replaced by a palanquin will quadruple employment opportunities. Moreover people will stop travelling to far away places. That will reduce immigrants from other states snatching away the jobs of the local people. This will also ensure our country is no longer held hostage by oil exporting nations. Moreover this will lead to promotion of more inclusive industries such as maintenance of horses and oxen that can be easily carried out by one and all without need for any specialized foreign language or computer skills. Moreover more animals would mean more animal excreta which would give fillip to the manure industry.

3. We plan to abolish all modern weapons. Use of these weapons require specialized skills which is against the principle of exclusivity. Clubs, spears, pikes, bows and arrows and blow pipes are weapons that are much more easier to manufacture and deployment by one and all. This will also ensure we are not held hostage to larger multi national weapon manufacturing companies. We can compensate for the loss of effectiveness vis a vis guns by employing more people. That way we are also addressing the problem of unemployment.

4. We plan to abolish printing presses and all forms of mechanized publishing. Why should there be printing presses when so many more people can be employed to copy manuscripts by hand?

5.We plan to abolish electricity. The very concept of electricity is too complex and hence discriminatory by nature. On the other hand clay lamps and cotton wicks and hand fans can be made by every common man. Moreover these industries are so much more labor intensive that they will further reduce the unemployment problem. Also when we don't use power at all, there is no question of nuclear power. Hence we will not be held hostage to the evil designs of foreign powers. An additional benefit is so many deaths that occur as a result of electric shock can be averted.

6. We also plan to carry out a major revamp of our education system. We are thinking of removing science, history and mathematics from the school curriculum. Over the years our young minds have been corrupted by teaching science. Science is the root cause of all evil, bringing machines to replace humans. Mathematics is cryptic mumbo jumbo that is being used by the elites to enslave the masses. As far as history is concerned, why waste time reading about past leaders and past events instead of reading about the achievements of the current leaders and their contribution to the social upliftment of the downtrodden?

7. Many of the reforms planned to be introduced by us are so sweeping in nature that they might cause many of the current ministries to become redundant. If this were to happen we would have solved the unemployment problem of the public only for it to resurface at a ministerial level. So we plan to introduce new ministries. We plan to have individual ministries consisting of a cabinet minister and a minister of state for the welfare of each and every caste, religion and other social group in the country.

8. Having addressed the unemployment problem, our next focus would be to address the inequality issue. After deep consideration we have decided to attack the problem at its roots. Inequality exists because of money. If money is eliminated, inequality would disappear for ever. So we plan to confiscate all money in the country and send it out of the country. Our ministers have been kind enough to take on the burden of disposing this rubbish. They have graciously agreed to open accounts in Swiss Banks to serve as dustbins for this garbage.

9. We have also evolved an unique foreign policy based on the principles of independence from American intervention and cooperation with our neighboring nations. We are planning to constitute a steering committee consisting of the Prime ministers of Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal and Sri Lanka, headed by the premier of China. Any law in this country would be sent to this committee for ratification before being enacted. We are also planning to get our constitution reviewed by this committee. This would ensure that we do not offend any of our neighbors and maintain a congenial international atmosphere.

10. The first nine points solves all the issues faced by the nation. But we are a party that follows the time honored tradition of having 10 point agendas. So we have included this point for posterity's sake.

Related Post: Reservation Policy: My Views

11 comments:

ArUn raFi said...

socialistic !!it should be called revolutionary socialistic..
liked the quadruple employment point and the last one..again i guess u could have added a little more fun to it.
employment is re iterated in first 6 points or seven i guess..tht was my first opinion.
u have a lot of openings in kerala and west bengal and mulayam singh too could find some place for u fr sure ..

Keep blogging
Arun Rafi

The Fool said...

Thanks for your comments, Arun. Yes I wanted to make it funnier. But then I was delaying the post already and if I had waited till I got more creative ideas, people would have forgotten the Samajwadi manifesto and the post would then miss the desired impact

Sabareesh said...

Good manifesto, but still far behind the Samajwadi Party.

I wonder what would hapeen if in the next elections, Kasab decides to step up in politics. In a country like ours, nothing is impossible.

Boby Thomas said...

Cool entry

Boby Thomas
http://wwww.bobsindia.com

The Fool said...

Thanks, Sabareesh, Bobby

henry J said...

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Jaai Vipra said...

Hahaha! This is really funny. Must have taken a lot of hardwork :P

The Fool said...

Thanks Jaai Vipra.

Narayanan said...

Timely post.

Diwakar Narayan said...

Back to the roots! No common man reads these manifestos by the political parties. This gives them an edge in differing in what they say and what they do!

The Fool said...

True, Diwa.

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