Scissor Chronicles: A pair of hair tales



I was born. That was the beginning of my hair problems. A boy! And that was the end of my hair problems! Was it? Wish it were true. But think again! Hair problems by no means are the sole domain of the women. We men have our fair share of hair problems too. Just that ‘it’s different’. I wish instead of Dove, it was Maggie Tomato ketchup who were sponsoring this contest. I would have definitely got brownie points and maybe even a T-shirt for using their catch phrase ‘it’s different’. Talking of tomato ketchup I wonder what would happen if one were to use tomato ketchup to wash one’s hair. I remember reading a story by Enid Blyton where one Mr. Meddle uses glue to wash his hair. Maybe it’s not a bad idea to use Fevicol to wash one’s hair, eh? Fevicol’s strong bond will probably keep the hair on the head for the entire life time. For that is men’s greatest hair problem - keeping their hair on their head intact.

In school, we have kids fighting for the first rank and then there are kids struggling to pass. Same is the case with women and men. Women are struggling to keep their hair silky, smooth and shiny. Men are struggling to just keep some hair on their heads. Can you say one is a greater struggle than the other? In this context, I wonder why Dove is not targeting men. Even fairness cream companies are coming up with men’s fairness cream. Possibly because they have branded themselves as a too feminine product I guess. I would then recommend they come up with an alternate 'Falcon' range of products targeting men as well. 'Falcon' sounds cool and masculine, eh? Anyways the purpose of this post is not to discuss product strategies. I have done enough of that in marketing courses at MBA. My purpose here is to share 2 stories related to hair – one from my childhood and one about my dear old grandfather.

It is a curse of being born a man to have to go under the scissor and razor every 3 months. Since childhood I used to hate my visits to the saloon. But there is no way one can stall the inevitable. Once the hair grows beyond a point the school authorities start notifying your parents. I have carried this aversion to haircuts to adulthood and have had more than one boss at work tell me it is time I had a haircut. This story is of one such occasion at school where the teacher had written a note to my parents in my diary to have my hair cut. I wanted to avoid it and my head started to work furiously to come up with a solution. And I soon hit upon an out of the box solution to my problem. Later I came to know I was not the first one to have hit upon this solution. The pirates in the Asterix comics had already discovered and patented this solution. In order to prevent Asterix and Obelix from drowning their ship, the pirates would drown their ship themselves. In order to prevent the barber from laying his filthy hands on my hair I decided to cut my hair myself.

We were having craft class that day. So I had a scissor handy. Instead of working it on the colored paper I decided to work it on my hair. The girl sitting next to me had been so focused on her work she had not seen what I was up to. When she lifted up her head she was surprised to see hair lying all around her. She noticed the hair falling from my head and she got scared that I was suffering from some instant hair loss malady. Her concern moved her to immediately report the matter to the teacher. The teacher was of course not so gullible. She had often tried to impress upon us the values of self-reliance and diligence. But I had turned out to be too proactive even for her taste. I was hauled to the headmistress’ cabin. Mother was called. By the time mother was done with me, it was time for father to come home. Father, mother, teacher headmistress all did their best to ensure any non-conformist tendencies were totally stamped out of me. This is where independent thinking lands you. So much for all the talk of out of the box thinking and stuff! Mere words! Everyone wants only mindless drones that do what they are told.

Anyways let us leave aside my tale of woe and move on to my grandfather. Grandfather was of course old as most grandfathers are. He had lost most of his hair. All the more the reason to love the few that remained! But even bald people are not spared the ordeal of visits to the saloon. The few hairs that remain have to be kept trimmed. During the time of this story, one of my uncles was working in Hyderabad and gramps was staying with him. Gramps did not know Telugu but he usually got by with the few Hindi words he knew.

One fine day he landed up at the saloon and told the barber ‘Kuch Karo’. In Hindi, Kuch means less. So gramps naturally meant ‘trim my hair a little’. But gramps was not aware that ‘Kuch Karo’ actually meant ‘do something’. The barber assumed gramps was being indifferent and was giving him the option to do whatever he liked. It is a human tendency when given an option to take the easiest path available. If one is interested in pursuing this topic further, I suggest a poem ‘The Road not taken’ by Robert Frost. But coming back to the barber, he found it much easier to swipe gramps head clean than trim hair by hair. And so ended all my gramps’ hair problems in a way he least expected. Poor gramps used to lament about being swindled of all his hair for years, even after most of the lost hair grew back.

So those were my hairy tales. Apparently dove is also jumping into the e-bandwagon and offering an e-solution for all your hair problems. You can click this link to check out their hair problem solution app.

Picture Credit : http://www.imalcogroup.com/Professional_Barber_Scissors.htm

35 comments:

debajyoti said...

i saw your previous post but wanted to read something humorous. i checked again today and here it is :)

loved this post. even i have multiple hair problems and am on the verge of giving up.

i can see on the right hand side that you won that vodafone contest. congrats!! will go through that post if i haven't already.

your blog looks cool!! nice design!!

The Fool said...

Thanks debajyothi. Men do have so many hair problems. These product folks don't seem to understand.

Yeah, I don't expect regular readers to comment on my reviews. They are very niche segment and mainly to attract google traffic from folks looking for info on these books.

I have won vodafone, castrol and Lakme. For vodafone I wrote the entire singer series.

Glad you liked my design.

Shilpa Nair said...

Funny and must say that was daring of you to cut your own hair!! I'm tempted to ask what ur head resembled after the 'operation' :p

I also noticed your new layout. It is better than the previous one - neater, crisper, focused!

The Fool said...

Thanks, Shilpa. Don't remember how my head looked like. And I did not have the habit of looking into the mirror much either. But not too good if I go by my mother's and teacher's reaction.

Glad you liked my new layout. Have put in lot of efforts into re-modelling my blog.

DS said...

Hairy tale!! I started losing my hair since I was about 12, the doctor somehow brought it back.
This is a very good post, light and humorous!

The Fool said...

Thanks DS. I was waiting for your comment. I was fearing you missed it due to my new blog format.

N.S.Kirti said...

I clicked 'create a link' instead of 'post a comment' and was wondering ki ye main kahan aa gayi :P
anyways, my nonsense apart, i loved this story :) the one of little TF cutting off his hair is so incredibly adorable!! and really cracked up on reading how your grandfather's hair problems were put to an end by the barber :P
and its not so true that all girls whine about their hair problems :P i mean the fact that i have long hair was a default fact fact of my life until recently when it hit my senses and i started badgering my mother to cut it off :P
my hair problem would be ummm... everyone running their fingers through it and saying "oh i wish i had hair like that" :P
ok i should stop boasting :P
loved this one, good luck for the contest!! :D

The Fool said...

@Kirti - Ha ha ha. Clicking create a link. Glad you liked the 2 anecdotes. Anyways girls got to whine or the poor dove guys won't be able to sell. I am only telling them guys also whine. Most guys I know whine about receding hair line.

jaish_vats said...

ha ha

I can imagine how horrified your little classmate must have been to see hair falling all around you :) Tales like your grandpa's are quite common ha ha....

The Fool said...

@jaishree - Indeed she was horrified. Seems like your grandfather too had such experiences.

C. Suresh said...

Hi TF! Funny pair of anecdotes...here is one guys who has lost all reason to whine for the 'Falcon' brand:)

umashankar said...

Having waded through a dozen hairy-scary posts, I find one which is lighter on my sparsely populated head.

Those are alarming accounts of hair-loss and truly, that is the dominant worry of a large section of males. Blessed are those who leave the world with a lush crop on their skulls! I have lost approximately 60% of my hair to nature-enforced deforestation and that is the crux of my hair problems!

The Fool said...

Thanks, CS. Maybe Falcon can bring you hair back from the grave.

The Fool said...

@umashankar - Hope the hair care product manufacturers are seeing the comments here. Such a green market here. And hope they give me a prize for showing the market to them.

Arti said...

Your hairy tales tickled me pink, TF. Amusing, I actually cracked up thinking of the expression the girl must have had when she must have seen all those strands falling on the floor!

How beautifully narrated (as always), and both the stories have that something in them that leave you smiling for long. Congratulations for all the awards that you are winning and my sincere best wishes for many more! :)

The Fool said...

Thanks Arti. She must have definitely had an interesting expression. Can't recollect that though. Fate has indeed been kind on me - bestowing me with T-shirts, bean bag and bike jacket.

Neha said...

Those were two hilarious stories, TF. And you know, dove has shampoo products for men too. Don't know if it's available in India though.

Loved your post. Good luck for the contest :)

The Fool said...

Thanks Neha. I did not know about dove's products for men. At least in Indi blogger they position themselves strongly as a women oriented.

indu chhibber said...

Come to think of it ,we women seldom realize you also have hairy problems.But there is a simple solution for you-don a hat!
About the singer series,i think they deserved better honors.I have not read the other 2 contest entries.

themoonstone said...

This is even nicer for the Dove contest ! Loved it. :)

The Fool said...

@Indu - Interesting suggestion. But try wearing a hat for 2 hours, especially in summer. You will know how it feels.

Thanks for the praise for my singer series. I am happy as long as people love reading it.

The Fool said...

Thanks a lot, moonstone.

Jasmeet Kukreja said...

hey seems you hv changed your blog theme...i wonder its been long i have been here ..my bad :|
now about your post, you rock always and whenever i visit on ur blog, it engaged me for almost an hour or so to read your old posts......:)

The Fool said...

Thanks Jassie. Good to see you back. Hope you liked what you read.

Ruchita said...

Well this the 3rd time I am reading this post and everytime it brings a smile on my face. I cann't imagin that you cut your own hair in the classroom ...ROFL!!!!!!!

You are taking the competition to a new height... ALL d best

The Fool said...

Thanks a lot, Ruchi.

Farila said...

You have got it started so well and continued to homourbthe reader through the post.... Loved reading this post

The Fool said...

Thanks Farida. When you started with post started so well, I was scared you were going to say I screwed up the rest of it.

zephyr said...

Catching up on posts which I missed during my vacation...What hair-raising or rather hair-chopping tales! Had me laughing all through. My father could have given a run for your grandfather's money in the Hindi department :) When are the results being announced?

The Fool said...

Thanks for dropping by, Zephyr. Guess all people of that generation are just the same.

Rickie said...

Great read! Reminded me of bachpan, too. :)
Good luck with the contest!

The Fool said...

Thanks Rickie. Welcome to my blog.

Pankti Mehta said...

Haha...i never knew men loved their hair so much...Neither my bro bothers about it nor did my dad ever.

The Fool said...

Ha Ha, Pankti. Possibly because they are not balding yet.

Pankti Mehta said...

My Dad was like your granpa :D

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